Confession Of A Love Sick Fool
I was in my soap shoppe, mixing up lye and listening to music that inspires me as I work. The CD choice for the day happened to be the 80's Bad Boys Of Rock, which is usually a hoot of a trip down memory lane. Do you have any of those memories of a band, or a song, that when you hear it, BAM! you're right back there, in that moment? Good or bad, you're there.
"Amanda" snuck up on me. For 2 or 3 minutes, as I was belting out, "… and I, I’m getting too close again, I don’t want to see it end, If I tell you tonight will you turn out the light, and walk away knowin’ I love you? I was hurled back into 1986/7 and the heartbreak of a boy I once knew. *Sigh* The late night rendezvous'. The promises, made and broken. Neither one of us ready to start it, or end it. But he ended it.
Love is so very complicated in its demand for simplicity. Timing is not everything. Love is.
I took a moment to be in that moment, amazed at how those feelings never really go away. Years and years go by and feelings get tucked away. They get ignored. They get lost. But they simmer and when they surface, we are forced to take inventory. Did I do the right thing? Did I make a mistake? Did I dodge a bullet? Or do I have regret? I answered all those questions, and I smiled. I thanked the Universe for kicking my ass then so that I could have the life I have now. And then I put on Johnny Cash and I soaped it up!
Amanda
Boston, 1986
Babe, tomorrow’s so far away
There’s something I just have to say
I don’t think I can hide what I’m feelin’ inside
Another day, knowin’ I love you
And I, I’m getting too close again
I don’t want to see it end
If I tell you tonight will you turn out the light
And walk away knowin’ I love you?
I’m gonna take you by surprise and make you realize,
Amanda
I’m gonna tell you right away, I can’t wait another day,
Amanda
I’m gonna say it like a man and make you understand
Amanda
I love you
And I feel like today’s the day
I’m lookin’ for the words to say
Do you wanna be free, are you ready for me
To feel this way
I don’t wanna lose you
So, it may be too soon, I know
The feeling takes so long to grow
If I tell you today will you turn me away
And let me go?
I don’t wanna lose you
I’m gonna take you by surprise and make you realize,
Amanda
I’m gonna te ll you right away, I can’t wait another day,
Amanda
I’m gonna say it like a man and make you understand
Amanda
You and I
I know that we can’t wait
And I swear, I swear it’s not a lie girl
Tomorrow may be too late
You, you and I girl
We can share a life together
It’s now or never
And tomorrow may be too late
And, feelin’ the way I do
I don’t wanna wait my whole life through
To say I’m in love with you
What's your trigger song?